Be your own valentine.
Today I’m not going to ask you to be my valentine. Instead, I am going to challenge you to be your own.
Despite being a romance girly, I’m not super big on Valentine’s Day. I don’t have anything against it, I’m just pretty lazy when it comes to holidays.
I am so fortunate to be surrounded by love and support in the form of my incredible husband (with whom I recently celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary). Even so, I find myself struggling to feel loved at times. Not struggling to be loved by him. If anyone knows how to love me, it’s my husband. I mean in general.
One of my flaws is that I desperately want everyone to love me. I’m a people person. I like 99% of people I meet. So even though I have a lot of love in my life, rejection—from other people, opportunities, etc.—can totally throw me off my game and send me spiraling into self-pity.
I want to feel desired, chosen, and loved. But something I’ve learned over the years is that it doesn’t matter how much other people desire, choose, or love me. It will never feel like enough unless I love myself. And I do love myself, of course. I happen to think I’m pretty great. But I don’t always treat myself the way I would treat someone I love.
One of the best pieces of advice I’ve received over the last few years is to treat yourself the way you would treat someone you love. Think of your best friend, your dog, or your child, whoever or whatever it is that you love most in the world. Go ahead, close your eyes and think of them. I’ll wait.
Okay, hopefully you’ve opened your eyes by now.
That person (or animal) you thought of? You would bend over backwards to take care of them. You’re there to pump up your best friend. You’re there to support them when they are struggling. You listen to their problems without judgement. You make sure your beloved pet gets the exercise it needs. You celebrate your child and make sure they’re fed and hydrated and are able to do activities they love and always know how wonderful they are.
My question for you is: Are you doing all that for yourself?
You wouldn’t berate and shame your best friend. You wouldn’t ignore your pets basic needs. So why do you talk down to yourself? Why are you shaming yourself? Why aren’t you making sure your needs are met?
Loving yourself is about more than doing a face mask and lighting a scented candle (although that can certainly be part of loving yourself). It’s about doing the hard things too. It’s about pumping yourself up and listening to your problems and feeling your feelings without judgment. It’s about taking care of your body and mind and making sure your needs are met. It’s about celebrating yourself and making room for the things that bring you joy, even if that feels like a waste of time. Trust me, it’s not.
Maybe you don’t have that special someone to celebrate with today. Maybe you do! Either way, I challenge you to be your own valentine today and every day. There’s no reason you can’t romance yourself.
Don’t wait for someone else to love you.
Choose yourself. Love yourself.
Book News!
I can’t believe Last Call at the Local has been out in the world for over a month already!
So many wonderful things have happened for this book. I’ve received far more publicity than I did for my first two books combined. Every time I think things have died down, another wonderful article or review pops up. I figured I’d share some of my favorites with you today, as well as some photos from my book launch at Quail Ridge last month.
Last Call at the Local hit the USA Today Bestseller list!
This shocked me! I actually had no idea that it had hit the list until five days after. I have always dreamed of hitting a national bestseller list. I could’ve never dreamed it would happen nearly a month after my book came out!
Last Call at the Local was featured on Oprah Daily as one of 6 Romance Books That Will Sweeten Your Valentine’s Day.
Elle USA named Last Call at the Local as one of The Best (and Most Anticipated) Romance Books of 2024, So Far
Look at this incredible review from Book Riot!
Spotify recommended the audiobook for Last Call at the Local on their Instagram account. How freaking cool is that?
Last Call at the Local was an Amazon editor’s pick for Best Romance in January.
7. It was also an Apple Books Staff Pick for January!
And here are some lovely photos from my book launch event with Reese Ryan at Quail Ridge Books! Over 70 people attended! I am SO GRATEFUL for all the love and support that surrounds me, both near and far. Thank you!
That’s all for now! Love you!
XO,
SGR